People often ask me: “Why don’t you have a boyfriend?”
Because I’m an escort, who already has enough men in my calendar. I don’t need one, living in my apartment. [😂]
Moreover, being single has a lot of advantages.
1. I sleep diagonally across the entire bed like a starfish.
2. I eat dessert for dinner.
3. I watch whatever I want.
4. I can spend three hours getting ready just to decide I’m not going anywhere.
5. Nobody steals my fries.
6. Nobody steals my hoodie.
7. Nobody says, “We need to talk.”
8. And nobody asks: “Who is that?” “Where are you going?” “Who texted you?” “Why are you smiling at your phone?”
It’s my phone, darling. Let me have at least one mystery in my life.
And you know what I love most? Coming home, taking off my heels, putting on my pajamas, making tea and realizing, that nobody is waiting to disappoint me.
Do I sometimes want someone to cuddle with? Absolutely.
Do I sometimes want flowers? Of course.
Do I sometimes want someone to say, “I missed you”? Yes.
But then I remember, that romance also comes with snoring, wet towels, forgotten anniversaries, and the sentence: “Baby, we need to talk.”
And suddenly I feel very complete. So no, I’m not single, because nobody wants me. I’m single, because I’ve discovered something wonderful: Peace is incredibly attractive. And if one day the right man comes along, I’ll happily make room for him. Yet not on my side of the bed. I’ve been sleeping diagonally for years, and frankly, he’ll have to earn his corner.