13.09.2026 20:03

Escort by Night, chaos by day

People sometimes ask me: “So what do you do besides escorting?”
Oh, quite a lot. In my spare time, I save the planet from aliens. I catch falling meteorites with my bare hands. I’m secretly developing a vaccine for immortality — although I keep getting distracted by lunch. I’m also working on a revolutionary technique for communicating with the astral world. So far, the astral world has left me on read. I regularly dig my grandmother’s garden, because apparently saving humanity can wait, but grandma’s potatoes cannot. I’m writing a PhD dissertation on the correlation between penis size and male self-esteem. And the preliminary results are extremely interesting.
I also occasionally practice yoga, meditate, drink tea, stare dramatically out of the window, and wonder, why I opened the refrigerator. 
So yes, escorting is technically my job. But in my free time, I’m basically a scientist, astronaut, farmer, paranormal researcher, superhero and exhausted granddaughter.
 
 
 
 
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13.09.2026 19:49

Why love keeps passing me by

People often ask me: “Why don’t you have a boyfriend?”
Because I’m an escort, who already has enough men in my calendar. I don’t need one, living in my apartment. [😂]
Moreover, being single has a lot of advantages.
1. I sleep diagonally across the entire bed like a starfish.
2. I eat dessert for dinner.
3. I watch whatever I want.
4. I can spend three hours getting ready just to decide I’m not going anywhere.
5. Nobody steals my fries.
6. Nobody steals my hoodie.
7. Nobody says, “We need to talk.”
8. And nobody asks: “Who is that?” “Where are you going?” “Who texted you?” “Why are you smiling at your phone?”
It’s my phone, darling. Let me have at least one mystery in my life. 
And you know what I love most? Coming home, taking off my heels, putting on my pajamas, making tea and realizing, that nobody is waiting to disappoint me.
Do I sometimes want someone to cuddle with? Absolutely. 
Do I sometimes want flowers? Of course.
Do I sometimes want someone to say, “I missed you”? Yes.
But then I remember, that romance also comes with snoring, wet towels, forgotten anniversaries, and the sentence: “Baby, we need to talk.”
And suddenly I feel very complete. So no, I’m not single, because nobody wants me. I’m single, because I’ve discovered something wonderful: Peace is incredibly attractive. And if one day the right man comes along, I’ll happily make room for him. Yet not on my side of the bed. I’ve been sleeping diagonally for years, and frankly, he’ll have to earn his corner.  
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

 

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